Sorry

I apologize for not keeping up with this as promised BUT I got the sty from hell in my left eye and I was not able to do any activity that required my left eye staying open for any appreciable length of time.   The sty stopped bothering me last week but by then I was smack dab in the middle of the Christmas hustle and bustle.  Now things have settled down I'll be back on this blog.  Maybe not daily but at least a few times a week.  Really I do want to retry the gratefulness challenge and start at the beginning so you may see me daily for 21 days in a row.

While on blog hiatus I recorded a special on Public TV about ADD and it was interesting.  If it comes on your PBS station I encourage you to watch it.  If you have a DVR record it so you can fast forward through the pledge breaks.  It's really insightful and presents the information with a great sense of humor.  I always prefer to learn through humor.  

That's a good segue into what I'm grateful for today:
1.  Humor, laughter, giggles, smiles, in all shapes and sizes.
2.  Living in the USA
3.  Freedom
4.  Even though I have all information at my fingertips the good, the bad and the ugly, I am grateful for the ability to sift through it all and the common sense to delete the bad and the ugly.
5.  New things to learn.

Plus the 7 daily items I'm thankful for...

Later...

The Nutcracker

I grew up taking ballet lessons and every Christmas season I try to watch the Nutcracker.  I love to watch the men dance.  They leap soooooo high.  Michael Jordan had nothing on Edward Valella so far as hang time is concerned.  Edward V was my favorite male ballet dancer in the 70's.  I still believe that he was much better than anything the Russians could produce.  Edward V made ballet very masculine.  Nureyev and Barishnikov were sissy's by comparison.

Anyway, I digress.  Christmas comes with family and personal traditions.  The Nutcracker is my personal tradition.  I hope to see it live one day.  I continue to speak about family traditions tomorrow.

So for today I'm grateful for:
1.  Dance
2.  Edward Valella
3.  Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire
4.  Christmas traditions
5.  Christmas decorations

Plus the daily 7.

Till Tomorrow...

Smells

OK, first I'm gonna ignore the fact that I missed yesterday's entry, I went Christmas shopping with my husband and didn't get home until after midnight.  Now I'll move on to smells and how much power they have in our lives. If food didn't smell we wouldn't be able to fully enjoy the taste.  Smells can conjure up memories.  There is a drawer in a piece of furniture that used to be in my grandmother's home which smells like my grandfather.  All I have to do is open it, take a big whiff and I'm transported back to 1965.  If I close my eyes I can see my grandmother's living room and my grandfather sitting in his white leather chair next to the fireplace lighting his pipe.

The reason I'm writing about the sense of smell is that I just purchased a couple jar candles that smell like Christmas trees.  This is important why?  We have a fake tree and I really need to SMELL Christmas to get into the Christmas spirit.  Jar candles can be a bit pricey but they're definitely worth it at this time of year.  Our homes are closed up because of the temperatures outside (I live in Illinois and this time of year is cold) and closed up homes can begin to smell funky, especially if you have animals and men living with you.  OK men can be animals as well.  But you get my meaning.  Scented candles can really make a difference.

Soooo today I'm thankful for:
1.  Scented Candles
2.  The smells of Christmas
3.  Family Christmas Memories
4.  Christmas Trees
5.  Christmas Decorations

Plus the other 7 things I'm normally grateful for.

Till Tomorrow...

Night time

I love the quiet solitude before bed time.  The house is quiet and my brain is not competing with any other noise to get my attention.  I can be lost in thought, reading a book, playing a video game, cruisin' the net, lost in prayer (a very nice place to be) or just chillin' to the quiet.  No demands on me, just my dog curled up beside me on the bed.  My husband in the next room watching late night TV (he keeps the volume turned down real low).  I turn out the light and drift off to sleep in a world whitened by a recent snow fall.  Have you ever noticed how snow makes the world even quieter?

So today I'm thankful for:
1.  Snow
2.  Quiet
3.  Warmth
4.  Prayer
5.  Christmas

Plus the 7 everyday things I'm grateful for.

Till Tomorrow.

Music and the NFL

OK music has nothing to do with the NFL and vice versa.  But they are both things I love.  Right now the Bears are winning and I'm looking to download some more Christmas music into my iTunes to load onto my iPod.  I just love where I'm at right now.  I don't even mind the fact that I have to continue to do laundry.  Oh! there IS a connection between the NFL and music - the Bears have a fight song:  "Bear Down Chicago Bears."  

I really have nothing else to say today.  Sooo for today I'm grateful for:
1.  The Chicago Bears
2.  Music and it's ability to make me happy.
3.  The YouTube videos of Handel's Hallelujah Chorus being sung in stores and food courts.
4.  My friend Wendy, she doesn't realize how much she means to me.
5.  My mom's crazy dog, who washes her face in the snow.

Plus the 7 everyday items I'm always thankful for.

Till Tomorrow...

The Internet

I remember working with computers in 1985 and the VA had an intranet where we could e-mail each other within the agency.  It was real hush hush and people who were computer savvy and had the old Commodor 64's in their homes were trying to get on "bulletin boards" to communicate with people with similar interests.  By 1993 the Internet was pretty much common knowledge but still pretty much a mystery.  I was told that I couldn't use it at work even though I needed it to research some stuff for my job.  I am amazed at how much of a community it has become.  All the social networking sites that are available boggles the mind.  Now instead of going outside our door for company we can simply turn on a computer and "connect" with each other in cyber space.

But... is that a real connection?  I still find that talking on the telephone, or, better yet, meeting for coffee IN PERSON (yikes!) is more satisfying.  I get to hear and see the emotion in their voice and determine the real meaning.  I mean, I'm writing here but do you really get what I'm trying to say?  I like the commercial for Coleman camping products that says the company originated social networking.  That's so true.

My hope for this Christmas Season is that people would get off their computers and make REAL connections.  Have coffee and a real conversation.  I know that can be scary for some people but I guarantee that if you try it you may become addicted to it.  And that's a good addiction to have.

So for today I'm thankful for:
1.  Live conversation, kind of like going to a concert where you're one of the musicians.
2.  People in general.
3.  Snow
4.  Watching my dog jump and play in the snow
5.  My husband plowing the snow so we can get out of the driveway.

Plus the 7 everyday gratefulness items.

Till Tomorrow...

OH NO!!!!

I missed yesterday!  What did I say about people with ADD being consistent?  So, now, do I start the 21 days all over with today and the last week minus yesterday was just an exercise or do I forgive myself one day and keep on keepin' on?  I don't know so I'll figure it out later.  If any of you who are reading this wish to chime in with an opinion, please do so.
Today I went out to lunch with my mother.  Something we do at least once a week.  I didn't really want to go because I had been struggling with emotions all week and was really tired but I forced myself to get up and go trusting that I would feel better once I got out of the house.  You want to know something?  It worked.  By the time we were 1/2 mile down the road I was no longer an emotional wreck and I was looking forward to running around with my mom.  Now I just have to push myself more often.

So today I'm grateful for:
1.  My Mom
2.  Getting out of the house
3.  Culver's Restaurants
4.  Hallmark Stores
5.  The Midwest landscape.

Plus the normal 7 items I'm thankful for.

Till Tomorrow...

December

Happy month of Christmas everyone!  Where has the year gone?  I'm worried that time is marching on a little bit too fast lately.  It feels as though time is getting away from me.  I remember when summers used to last forever.  I was in grade and high school then.  Now I'm on an extended vacation of sorts and time just flies by.  I thought that if you were bored time would feel slower, but not so when you're past your teens.  I am fortunately not bored.
Boredom is deadly for someone with ADD.  That's when they get into trouble.  Fortunately for me I have books and other activities that prevent boredom.  One of the keys for controlling ADD symptoms is to find ways to keep boredom at bay.  Make sure you surround yourself with activities that interest you.  There is only one activity I would like to surround myself with that I haven't due to how expensive it is and that's pottery.  I could throw clay all day and not notice the passage of time.  Someday I will have a pottery studio, one that will support itself through sales of my pottery...  Nice thing about life is that you can always dream....

So today I'm thankful for:
1.  Dreams
2.  Hope
3.  Goals
4.  A supportive Family
5.  Left over Pizza.

Plus the everyday 7 things I'm grateful for...

Till Tomorrow...

Technology

The man who invented the flush toilet gets my vote for the best idea today.  I know, gross.  I'm a bit under the weather and not having to go outside to the door with the quarter moon cut out is wonderful.  Whoever came up with the notion that moving waste far away from where you live did a great thing to advance human longevity.
This doesn't tie into my ADD experience in anyway other than to give me something to write about before I list what I'm grateful for.

So today I'm grateful for:
1.  Indoor plumbing
2.  The West Wing (the TV show).  Now ask me how it goes along with indoor plumbing...(don't tell Merlene).
3.  Warm covers
4.  Italy's greatest contribution to mankind - PIZZA!  OK, I really don't believe that.  There's art, music and other contributions to mankind that came out of Italy.
5.  My sister-in-law.

Plus the 7 everyday things.

Till Tomorrow...

Silence

Silence truly is golden.  Silence is also noisy.  Right know I'm alone and I can hear the heater forcing air through the ductwork, the refrigerator motor plus there is also a low hum going on in my ears.  But back to silence is golden.  I really treasure the moments I'm all alone with no one around to interrupt what I'm doing or expecting me to interact with them.  This is the time I can really unwind and relax.  Sleeping doesn't recharge me like it does for "normal" folk.
I really have to prepare myself to interact with others.  I frustrate my family because I don't respond as quickly as they think I should when they ask me a question.  People with ADD need to process their surroundings.  They are hypersensitive to stimulae and struggle to pay attention midst everything vying for their attention.  Add to that a brain that is on hyperdrive and sometimes connections can take a while to connect.  Living with someone with ADD requires patience, a premium quality in today's "gotta have it now" instant gratification society.
When I go to an event such as a family reunion or someone's birthday party I prepare myself and plan on extra time in bathrooms to pull myself back together so I can be social.  Don't get me wrong, I love interacting with people, but in groups they really intimidate me. Individually, people fascinate me.  I love to hear their stories of how they got to where they are.  I could spend hours getting to know some one.
Before I knew about ADD and that this is normal for me I used to think that I didn't like group functions because I believed that people were checking me out and criticizing me.  Really, I care that people like me but if they don't, THEY'RE the ones missing out, not me.
Also, I love singing in front of people so that theory was sort of off balance.  So the ADD reason fits me much better.  Hypersensitivity to sound, and other stimulae makes much more sense in my situation.   
Now do I want to get rid of the hypersensitivity?  NO!  It's what makes me, well, ME.  I really like myself.  I get my jokes, I enjoy who I am.  I like my own company.  I honestly believe that in order to bring anything to a relationship you have to be comfortable in your own skin.  I don't need my husband in my life, I WANT him in my life and wouldn't enjoy the adventure without him.

So Today I'm Grateful for:
1.  Silence
2.  Me
3.  People - they're fascinating.
4.  Alone time
5.  My Mom's dog sleeping on the couch and not demanding that I play with her...

Plus the everyday 7.

Till Tomorrow...

Interruptions

I get soooo frustrated by the interruptions in my day that by the end of the day I'm pretty snapish.  I especially hate that I haven't been able to watch something on TV from start to finish without someone interrupting.   That's also when my ADD med wears off.  I hate being so cranky but it feels like my nerves are on edge that pretty much anything can just about set me off.  I manage to exercise self control most of the time and keep my snide comments to myself but if anyone could read my mind they'd probably never talk to me again.  The problem with holding it in is that this can create a kind of emotional pressure cooker and every once in a while that little safety valve blows off.  I've been able to blow the pressure off pretty much alone but sometimes my husband gets in the way and gets hurt.
A side effect of ADD can be extreme sensitivity both emotionally and physically.  There have been times when clothing on my skin or a popcorn shell stuck to the bottom of my tongue has triggered an anxiety attack.  Add to the physical sensitivity a person who doesn't understand what I'm talking about and is trying to help me cope and you get Mt. St. Helens just prior to erupting.   Just stand back and watch the fire works.
All this to say that without ADD meds I can be a powder keg waiting for a match.
Fortunately, today I haven't exploded.

So for today I'm grateful for:
1.  ADD Medication
2.  A calming car ride
3.  A soothing word and a hug
4.  The sun on my face
5.  The sound of animals (I haven't seen them, just heard them) running up and down the tree on the other side of the driveway.  They make a unique crackly sound.

I'm also very grateful for the usual 7 items, probably a little more so today.

Till tomorrow...

Frustrations

OK, I admit, I'm pretty adept at this computer thing but sometimes it can completely frustrate me.  I'm trying to load up some Christmas music onto my iTunes so I can put it on my iPod but Roxio Burn keeps getting in the way.  When I try to copy a CD to iTunes it shuts down the program.  I know I can load it onto Windows media player and copy it over to iTunes but I don't want to.  I want iTunes to work like it has in the past.  So this adds to the frustration of my day.  For someone with ADD this can really impact my mood.  I'm already overwhelmed by all the things I need to do and am close to shutting down so this just adds another straw to this camel's back.  I wish things would go easier for me.....I know, I'm looking for some cheese to go with that whine....  Maybe a nice muenster would brighten my day...

Today I'm grateful for:
1.  Cheese.  Love it, gotta have it in my life.
2.  My iPod - it helps me sleep better and so much more.  Like having all my music in one place.
3.  Music - it really does soothe the savage breast.
4.  Reading.  The only way to travel to far away places.
5.  My Computer.  Yes, even though it frustrates me, I would go through withdrawal if it was taken away.

I'm also grateful for:
1.  A roof over my head
2.  My comfy bed
3.  Humor
4.  My dogs
5.  My Salvation
6.  The Holy Spirit leading, guiding and directing me.
7.  My wonderful husband who loves me even when I'm unloveable.

Till Tomorrow...

Black Friday

Today is known as Black Friday because this is the day when all major retailers bank accounts come out of the red and into the black due to large sales volume.  I refuse to participate.  Not that I want the big retailers to lose money on my account, I just believe that we should support the small local retailers.  The specialty shops we find on main street in our communities.  It may cost us a little more in cash but it would save us cash in the amount of gas we use to get to the large malls and shopping centers.  This is especially true for those of us who live in rural communities.

I also refuse to participate because I can't stand the crowds.  There is too much stimulus in a WalMart with the normal crowd.  Triple that amount of people and I want to hide.  Some people find shopping on Black Friday a great time and make an annual tradition out of it.  I'd rather make a tradition out of staying home and reading a good book.

Today I'm grateful for:
1.  Lunch with my Mother.
2.  A real door on my room and not just a screen door.  I'll feel so much safer at night.
3.  Thanksgiving leftovers.  Do you find that leftovers can taste much better than the initial meal?  We even make some meals in advance so they can sit in the freezer and get richer in flavor.
4.  Good Friends who really care.
5.  Christmas music.
6.  A good book.

Plus my usual 5 along with
1.  My salvation
2.  The Holy Spirit leading, guiding and directing me.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is the day that we, as a nation, sit down with our families and give thanks for all with which the Lord has blessed us.  When I think of what our nation should be thankful for I can't help but name Freedom as the number one blessing.  We wouldn't have this freedom without those who serve in our armed forces to ensure and secure that freedom.  There are times when I'm in a whiny "why me" mood and I'm reminded of people in third world countries who get positively giddy over a refrigerator box to use as shelter.  Even in a recession or depression we are so much better off than the majority of the world and yet we corporately demand our rights and get nasty when we even think that they have been compromised.  The reality is that we have no rights except those blessings we enjoy because of where we're born and blessings aren't guaranteed rights.

So today I'm grateful for:
1.  That God let me be born in the USA.
2.  The Servicemen and women who are spending this Thanksgiving away from their families to ensure freedom for those less fortunate than us.
3.  That I didn't have to cook the whole Thanksgiving dinner (really, I only cooked the oyster dressing and set the table), and I don't feel guilty in the least.
4.  My brother who is cooking the sausage stuffing, white potatoes, gravy and green bean casserole.
5.  My mother for her ability to laugh as her children stumble through the job she used to do.
6.  My Husband for growing the sweet potatoes, sweet corn and cooking them along with the turkey.

Now, overall I'm grateful for:
1.  A roof over my head in a time when a lot of people don't have one over theirs.
2.  A wonderful bed that makes my back feel better.
3.  Laughter, one of God's best gifts.
4.  My dog, Gabbi who loves me unconditionally.  Hopefully, one day, I will live up to her opinion of me.
5.  Most of all the gift of Love my husband gives me every day...

Thankfulness Challenge

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I will be starting a 3 week challenge to list 5 things each day that I'm grateful/thankful for. I was scanning through Dr. Amen's web site and read that if people make a habit of listing at least 5 things each day they're thankful or grateful for by the end of 3 weeks they will be less depressed and more positive. This challenged me and I decided to use Thanksgiving as my starting point. Sooooooo, tomorrow I will begin to list 5 things I'm grateful for each day. I have listed 5 things I'm grateful for, but not very consitently. Maybe once or twice a week and never three weeks in a row. My mother keeps telling me "attitude of gratitude" which has driven me nuts for 30+ years sooooo now I'll put that theory to the test. Hopefully this blog will be my accountability factor to be consistent. I may list the same things each day but at least I'll be consistent. I may list more than 5 things who knows but I'm excited about trying this experiment. Hope others will join me. Till tomorrow....