Better living through Chemistry?

Some time ago (before the 80's) there was an ad campaign for some company with the tag line "Better Living through Chemistry."  I'm living proof of that.  I take pills for some of the conditions my Doctor has pronounced upon me.  For ADHD I'm now taking the latest in the Shire line up - Vyvanse.  Now my understanding of this medication is that it's basically the same thing as Adderall Extended Release but without the potential to be cooked into a street drug.  Since I didn't start taking medications for ADHD until 2004 I never knew about the street market for these drugs.  The only thing I knew about them is that they were amphetamines which were considered street drugs in the 60's and 70's.  But then again so was Benadryl which is now marketed as an over the counter allergy medication.  Most allergy sufferers avoid it because of the "hangover effect" it delivers.

Now onto what ADHD medications mean to me...  Before being diagnosed with ADD I had been diagnosed with major depressive disorder with a side of anxiety.  I was given Paxil for the depression which worked a little.  However, after taking it for 1.5 years I began to have panic attacks, even ended up in the emergency room.  I found out from a Psychiatrist that worked with my dad that Paxil (Prozac, Zoloft, Welbutrin and other SSRI's) can trigger panic attacks in some people.  I stopped taking Paxil.  Experienced several months of panic attacks until they eventually stopped for a while.  I decided that I was probably a melancholy person by nature and would learn to live with it.  I determined to train myself to think more positively and look at the bright side of every situation.  This worked for the most part but there was still that underlying melancholy.  I just accepted that it was part of my artistic nature and was one of the many characteristics that made up who I was.  THEN, I was diagnosed with ADD and started on Ritalin.  I never knew before that day what it was to have NORMAL FEELINGS.  Now if I get depressed I know it is an appropriate response to a life circumstance and not just part of my personality.

I am thankful to those pioneers of chemistry who discovered that giving hyperactive boys amphetamines actually slowed them down.  Without them I may have succumbed to the darkness of depression and would be either institutionalized or dead today.  I would like to think not and that despite the darkness I had a handle on life but.... gratefully we'll never know...

Today I'm thankful for:
1.  Chemistry
2.  Researchers
3.  Hyperactive little boys
4.  Me
5.  The friends that have stood with me all these years (you know who you are Kreegs and Jelly)

Plus:
1.  A roof over my head
2.  Laughter
3.  Goofy Dogs who entertain me
4.  My Husband who held my hand through all the panic attacks
5.  My Savior, Jesus Christ who is healing me as I write this.

Till next time.

Dancing

A couple of days ago I heard that my Dance Teacher, Vivian Davies had passed away on December 22.  I hate it when people die so close to a holiday.  Their families will forever remember Christmas as the time "so and so" died.  How sad.  Christmas should always be a joy filled time, magical, happy, and filled with wonder.

I have such a hard time not being melancholy during the holiday season as I remember my childhood and the traditions I participated in along with all the family and friends that are now gone.  I try to get a holiday cheer going trying to develop new traditions and memories but most of the time that only comes at the last minute.

This year was different.  I did have a reasonably good Christmas.  My husband and I went to a Candle light service at a local church on Christmas Eve and that brought back some of the feelings of my youth.

Then I found out about Vivian.  She was 94 when she passed away and had lead a full life.  She was a big influence in my life for about 20 years.  She had real gusto and lived life fearlessly.  I was real fortunate to be surrounded by strong, intelligent, confident, and independent women.  She was one of them.  She taught me to approach life fearlessly.  That I could do whatever I wanted to do as long as I was willing to work for it.
Most of all she taught me to dance.  Dance is a real joy for me.  To this day it is real hard for me to sit still when a good rhythm is played.   So I'm gonna ask any one who reads this to dance with joy in memory of Vivian Davies.  I know I'm going to.

Today I'm grateful for:
1.  Dance
2.  Vivian Davies and all the other mothers of the North Maywood Tribe who raised me.
3.  My own mother
4.  All the sisters from north Maywood who understand what I'm saying in #2.
5.  Christmas Pageants and Candle Light Services.

Plus the 7 daily items I'm thankful for.

Later....