Better living through Chemistry?

Some time ago (before the 80's) there was an ad campaign for some company with the tag line "Better Living through Chemistry."  I'm living proof of that.  I take pills for some of the conditions my Doctor has pronounced upon me.  For ADHD I'm now taking the latest in the Shire line up - Vyvanse.  Now my understanding of this medication is that it's basically the same thing as Adderall Extended Release but without the potential to be cooked into a street drug.  Since I didn't start taking medications for ADHD until 2004 I never knew about the street market for these drugs.  The only thing I knew about them is that they were amphetamines which were considered street drugs in the 60's and 70's.  But then again so was Benadryl which is now marketed as an over the counter allergy medication.  Most allergy sufferers avoid it because of the "hangover effect" it delivers.

Now onto what ADHD medications mean to me...  Before being diagnosed with ADD I had been diagnosed with major depressive disorder with a side of anxiety.  I was given Paxil for the depression which worked a little.  However, after taking it for 1.5 years I began to have panic attacks, even ended up in the emergency room.  I found out from a Psychiatrist that worked with my dad that Paxil (Prozac, Zoloft, Welbutrin and other SSRI's) can trigger panic attacks in some people.  I stopped taking Paxil.  Experienced several months of panic attacks until they eventually stopped for a while.  I decided that I was probably a melancholy person by nature and would learn to live with it.  I determined to train myself to think more positively and look at the bright side of every situation.  This worked for the most part but there was still that underlying melancholy.  I just accepted that it was part of my artistic nature and was one of the many characteristics that made up who I was.  THEN, I was diagnosed with ADD and started on Ritalin.  I never knew before that day what it was to have NORMAL FEELINGS.  Now if I get depressed I know it is an appropriate response to a life circumstance and not just part of my personality.

I am thankful to those pioneers of chemistry who discovered that giving hyperactive boys amphetamines actually slowed them down.  Without them I may have succumbed to the darkness of depression and would be either institutionalized or dead today.  I would like to think not and that despite the darkness I had a handle on life but.... gratefully we'll never know...

Today I'm thankful for:
1.  Chemistry
2.  Researchers
3.  Hyperactive little boys
4.  Me
5.  The friends that have stood with me all these years (you know who you are Kreegs and Jelly)

Plus:
1.  A roof over my head
2.  Laughter
3.  Goofy Dogs who entertain me
4.  My Husband who held my hand through all the panic attacks
5.  My Savior, Jesus Christ who is healing me as I write this.

Till next time.

Dancing

A couple of days ago I heard that my Dance Teacher, Vivian Davies had passed away on December 22.  I hate it when people die so close to a holiday.  Their families will forever remember Christmas as the time "so and so" died.  How sad.  Christmas should always be a joy filled time, magical, happy, and filled with wonder.

I have such a hard time not being melancholy during the holiday season as I remember my childhood and the traditions I participated in along with all the family and friends that are now gone.  I try to get a holiday cheer going trying to develop new traditions and memories but most of the time that only comes at the last minute.

This year was different.  I did have a reasonably good Christmas.  My husband and I went to a Candle light service at a local church on Christmas Eve and that brought back some of the feelings of my youth.

Then I found out about Vivian.  She was 94 when she passed away and had lead a full life.  She was a big influence in my life for about 20 years.  She had real gusto and lived life fearlessly.  I was real fortunate to be surrounded by strong, intelligent, confident, and independent women.  She was one of them.  She taught me to approach life fearlessly.  That I could do whatever I wanted to do as long as I was willing to work for it.
Most of all she taught me to dance.  Dance is a real joy for me.  To this day it is real hard for me to sit still when a good rhythm is played.   So I'm gonna ask any one who reads this to dance with joy in memory of Vivian Davies.  I know I'm going to.

Today I'm grateful for:
1.  Dance
2.  Vivian Davies and all the other mothers of the North Maywood Tribe who raised me.
3.  My own mother
4.  All the sisters from north Maywood who understand what I'm saying in #2.
5.  Christmas Pageants and Candle Light Services.

Plus the 7 daily items I'm thankful for.

Later....

Sorry

I apologize for not keeping up with this as promised BUT I got the sty from hell in my left eye and I was not able to do any activity that required my left eye staying open for any appreciable length of time.   The sty stopped bothering me last week but by then I was smack dab in the middle of the Christmas hustle and bustle.  Now things have settled down I'll be back on this blog.  Maybe not daily but at least a few times a week.  Really I do want to retry the gratefulness challenge and start at the beginning so you may see me daily for 21 days in a row.

While on blog hiatus I recorded a special on Public TV about ADD and it was interesting.  If it comes on your PBS station I encourage you to watch it.  If you have a DVR record it so you can fast forward through the pledge breaks.  It's really insightful and presents the information with a great sense of humor.  I always prefer to learn through humor.  

That's a good segue into what I'm grateful for today:
1.  Humor, laughter, giggles, smiles, in all shapes and sizes.
2.  Living in the USA
3.  Freedom
4.  Even though I have all information at my fingertips the good, the bad and the ugly, I am grateful for the ability to sift through it all and the common sense to delete the bad and the ugly.
5.  New things to learn.

Plus the 7 daily items I'm thankful for...

Later...

The Nutcracker

I grew up taking ballet lessons and every Christmas season I try to watch the Nutcracker.  I love to watch the men dance.  They leap soooooo high.  Michael Jordan had nothing on Edward Valella so far as hang time is concerned.  Edward V was my favorite male ballet dancer in the 70's.  I still believe that he was much better than anything the Russians could produce.  Edward V made ballet very masculine.  Nureyev and Barishnikov were sissy's by comparison.

Anyway, I digress.  Christmas comes with family and personal traditions.  The Nutcracker is my personal tradition.  I hope to see it live one day.  I continue to speak about family traditions tomorrow.

So for today I'm grateful for:
1.  Dance
2.  Edward Valella
3.  Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire
4.  Christmas traditions
5.  Christmas decorations

Plus the daily 7.

Till Tomorrow...

Smells

OK, first I'm gonna ignore the fact that I missed yesterday's entry, I went Christmas shopping with my husband and didn't get home until after midnight.  Now I'll move on to smells and how much power they have in our lives. If food didn't smell we wouldn't be able to fully enjoy the taste.  Smells can conjure up memories.  There is a drawer in a piece of furniture that used to be in my grandmother's home which smells like my grandfather.  All I have to do is open it, take a big whiff and I'm transported back to 1965.  If I close my eyes I can see my grandmother's living room and my grandfather sitting in his white leather chair next to the fireplace lighting his pipe.

The reason I'm writing about the sense of smell is that I just purchased a couple jar candles that smell like Christmas trees.  This is important why?  We have a fake tree and I really need to SMELL Christmas to get into the Christmas spirit.  Jar candles can be a bit pricey but they're definitely worth it at this time of year.  Our homes are closed up because of the temperatures outside (I live in Illinois and this time of year is cold) and closed up homes can begin to smell funky, especially if you have animals and men living with you.  OK men can be animals as well.  But you get my meaning.  Scented candles can really make a difference.

Soooo today I'm thankful for:
1.  Scented Candles
2.  The smells of Christmas
3.  Family Christmas Memories
4.  Christmas Trees
5.  Christmas Decorations

Plus the other 7 things I'm normally grateful for.

Till Tomorrow...

Night time

I love the quiet solitude before bed time.  The house is quiet and my brain is not competing with any other noise to get my attention.  I can be lost in thought, reading a book, playing a video game, cruisin' the net, lost in prayer (a very nice place to be) or just chillin' to the quiet.  No demands on me, just my dog curled up beside me on the bed.  My husband in the next room watching late night TV (he keeps the volume turned down real low).  I turn out the light and drift off to sleep in a world whitened by a recent snow fall.  Have you ever noticed how snow makes the world even quieter?

So today I'm thankful for:
1.  Snow
2.  Quiet
3.  Warmth
4.  Prayer
5.  Christmas

Plus the 7 everyday things I'm grateful for.

Till Tomorrow.

Music and the NFL

OK music has nothing to do with the NFL and vice versa.  But they are both things I love.  Right now the Bears are winning and I'm looking to download some more Christmas music into my iTunes to load onto my iPod.  I just love where I'm at right now.  I don't even mind the fact that I have to continue to do laundry.  Oh! there IS a connection between the NFL and music - the Bears have a fight song:  "Bear Down Chicago Bears."  

I really have nothing else to say today.  Sooo for today I'm grateful for:
1.  The Chicago Bears
2.  Music and it's ability to make me happy.
3.  The YouTube videos of Handel's Hallelujah Chorus being sung in stores and food courts.
4.  My friend Wendy, she doesn't realize how much she means to me.
5.  My mom's crazy dog, who washes her face in the snow.

Plus the 7 everyday items I'm always thankful for.

Till Tomorrow...