Dodging Bullets

This past Wednesday I get a voice mail from my brother informing me that he is taking our mother to the emergency room.  She had an episode of extreme chest pain - the worst she's ever experienced and THIS time her arms and legs stopped working.  So, I got in my car and drove to St Mary's Hospital in Streator, IL and met my brother and mother in the ER.  She had atrial fibrillation, a dangerous heart arrhythmia if you're 85 and not so nice if you're younger.  They admitted her to ICU and managed to convert her heart to normal sinus rhythm using medications.  She stayed in the hospital until yesterday while they monitored her and made sure her new medications were keeping her heart rhythm stable.  Now I'm home and will be going back to be with mom after Christmas when she's alone.  The purpose is to not let her be alone while her body adjusts to the new medications. We'll try this for a couple of weeks and then reevaluate the need for 24 hour monitoring.

At 85 my mom has outlived her parents by at least 16 years so far.  She says she's ready to go and does not want to live longer than her dog.  She feels she couldn't bear to say goodbye to UD.  I just pray that she gets her wish, to go quickly and in her sleep.  She has the medical history for a quick and relatively painless demise.  I'm just extremely glad it didn't happen during the holidays.

When I worked in the VA I worked in the Oncology clinic and would just hate it when my patients passed between Thanksgiving and New Years.  With the tragedy at Newtown this past week, I'm angry again.  Those families will forever associate Christmas with the time their precious little child was violently taken from them by a psycho.  It's at times like these I don't understand God's purpose.  I mean, I honestly believe those precious children are celebrating Christmas with Jesus and in a much better place.  They will live on never knowing heartache or unbearable pain.  So I'm happy for them.  I just don't understand how God can allow such pain for the families when they should be celebrating the second most important event in the history of the planet, the first being Easter.  I believe God should put a moratorium on death between November 1 and January 2 each year so these can be happy times for everyone, even those who don't believe.  That may be a simplistic view but that's how I feel.

Anyway, today I am extremely grateful that:

1.  My mom's still here
2.  I got to pray with her
3.  My husband and his childlike wonder at Christmas
4.  Christmas Lights
5.  Friends

Later and Merry Christmas
Jan